By Cavin O’Ferral
To the victims of violent and serious crimes, I am apologizing for your loss, pain and suffering. You do not deserve the emotional pain you have gone through.
Again, I apologize. If I could apologize directly as the person who has done you wrong, I would. But, even still, I am apologizing sincerely and from my heart. I know your pain from personal experience. The fact is, I have been a victim of robbery as well as being the robber.
Please forgive me. I have no excuses for the crimes I committed during the 80s. Back then, after committing a robbery, I was sentenced to 12 years and 8 months in prison. I was released 7 years later and returned home to my ex-wife and 5 kids. The 3 oldest were my biological children, and the 2 youngest were fathered by my so-called homeboys. These 2 friends took advantage of our friendship while I was in prison. My wife, at the time, and I divorced during my incarceration. Wanting to do right and be correct in the eyes of society, I accepted those 2 beautiful boys as my own. Then, I remarried my wife.
After our remarriage, I found employment re-building a Pic ‘N Save convenience store. I was happy and proud to be working and we rebuilt that store inside and out so that it was ready for its grand opening. I was starting a new life.
Then, suddenly and painfully, I was told that my past felonies had not been overlooked. I was fired from that great job on the opening day of the store – seems they were able to overlook my felonies when they needed my quality, hard work, but were unable to do so when they were done with me. Before I was fired, I felt proud and like a man who was contributing to society, earning my own way, providing for my family. Afterward, I was down and out, upset with myself and society, not knowing where to turn.
Then, my wife started cheating on me, again! She became pregnant and informed me that the baby was not mine. I was hurting pretty badly so we broke up, again. I turned to smoking crack cocaine.
Soon after, I was pulled over by the police, and they found $10 worth of crack in my pocket. I was arrested, given a third strike, and sentenced to 26 years to life in prison.
During this incarceration, my grandmother who was my best friend, passed away in front of one of my daughters. Soon after, my father passed away from colon cancer. Thankfully, I had had time to lead him in prayer and lead him to Jesus Christ. I had just re-united with my father after thirty years of searching for him.
As tragic as all of that was, I was about to experience something that I hope never happens to anyone else. My 16 year old daughter stabbed and killed my 20 year old son. They were arguing over my sister’s car. That happened in front of my wife and 3 kids.
I’ve learned my lesson in more ways than one. I now ask you to please forgive me for my past crimes and sins. Whether you forgive me or not, please know that I am truly sorry for my past.
Please forgive me.
Mr. Cavin O’Ferral
PO Box 409040
Ione, CA, 95640
Photo by Arvind Balaraman
Other TYTT stories you might enjoy:
The Pedestrian, part I by Crosby
The Pedestrian, part II by Crosby
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