I am a recovering addict, fresh out of detox, about 6 weeks now with 18 years of addiction to prescriptions, bento dioxidine, oxycontin, and xanax.
My addiction started like a lot of people’s. I have chrome disease, which I got diagnosed with 20 years ago. I had multiple surgeries as a result and chronic autoimmune. I was prescribed Xanax at first because of anxieties. Through surgeries, I also got prescription pain meds. As my condition grew, I needed more and more meds to have the same effects. I think the allure of Oxycontin is that it numbs a lot of feelings and emotions, suppressed a lot of things. Then human nature takes over, it becomes really hard to stop. Man does not have the wherewithal to combat these conditions. Sometimes it’s a feudal attempt to avoid everyday problems.
There is a bigger player in this. Medical field and pharmaceuticals, health insurance, clinicians, all of them. Our health system is a business model. As long as it’s about making money, the welfare of patient takes a back seat.
When I went to the doctors, I thought they had my best interest in mind. Doctors told me that Xanax was non addictive. They were very wrong. Medical practice added “pain levels” as a treatment way and pain became prevalent in the “Pain scale.” That’s how the doctors were taught.
Not all doctors will tell you the whole story. Insurance people telling doctors what they can and cannot do.
Ultimately, it is a choice. We all have a choice. Just like I knew I had a choice.
Over time, these meds do a flip on you. What I mean is they were prescribed to help me sleep. 10 to 15 years later, I can’t sleep anymore no matter how much I take. I took 100mg of Oxy and 400mg of Xanax daily. On the outside I was fine, but I was crumbling. I was doing things that wasn’t me. I ruined my marriage and friendships.
I went to Miami FL to detox. When I checked into the rehab center, it was nothing like what they said it’d be like. They took everything, basically like putting me in jail. 7 day detox center where they take your drug use down to zero. They do with lesser strength opiates and taper you down. By the time you get out, you’re in a haze. I begged them to stop my withdrawal process, I wasn’t ready, to slow it down but they refused. They were in fear that the insurance company wouldn’t give them more money.
From detox, I went to a recovery center. It was supposed to be for five weeks. They basically told me that I was worthless, they break you down. They put me on so much medication – muscles relaxers and for seizures, about 20 meds. I was trying to get off of pills and now was taking a regimen of pills. One morning I couldn’t even get out of bed, I lost all control. I refused to take anymore meds. They immediately wrote me up, said I wasn’t following guidelines, my family was calling but they wouldn’t let them talk to me. They were charging $4,000 a day to be there. 3 drug tests a week at $2,000 a week. I became very disturbed and very angry. The more angry I got, the more they said I was diseased and addicted. I didn’t have any money, credit cards, don’t know any numbers. I can’t leave. They drive me around and they confused me. They had no choice after 1 week and they let me go.
But I came home convicted that whatever this was, nothing happens by chance. Nothing is a coincidence. It scared me. I went to one rehab and I’m never looking back. One and done. People have to be accountable for their own choices.
–Fort Worth, TX; founder of Scrubaddictions.com